


I liked his song, I dare say

by Tsunpo



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bullying, Child Neglect, Disabled Character, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-09-26 16:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9912326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsunpo/pseuds/Tsunpo
Summary: AU of Shinsuke and Bansai as kids and part of their story as they grow up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> //This story was made after a drawing I did that came to my mind out of the blue. Please don't kill me, it's my first work in like forever.

It was another cold morning of winter and even though the wind was creating interesting melodies every here and there, the warm of the sun made the cold bearable. The ten years old boy had woken up early that morning to practice with the shinai just before he did his cleaning duties at the house.

He was about to go to play when he was called out: “Bansai, could you go buy these vegetables for lunch?”

The teal haired boy looked up at his mother, extended his hand to grab the few hundred of yen and a list stating different vegetables and nodded in agreement. “Yes, mother.”

Receiving a warm smile from his mother, the tall boy left his house, walking to the vegetables market that was a few kilometers away from the house.

He didn’t have much in mind at the moment but he would observe everything in detail and try to capture sounds in their most raw state, studying them in his mind as he tried to find similarities and differences between one and another. That’s the way he went through life now, after almost losing his hearing entirely.  
  
He never saw it coming, a classmate in his school, hysterical at the loss of a sword fight, ran after Bansai kicking him on the stomach and before he could react, he had fallen to his back and the other boy was over him. Even if he tried to defend himself placing his arms over his face, he couldn’t avoid getting hit several times in his head with a big rock the other boy had picked up from the ground. There was blood all over his face and a buzzing sound that was loud and sharp, unending, at least for about ten months until it started to get better, sounds slowly becoming recognizable again.

While he recovered he could barely walk straight and couldn’t hear anything but the maddening ring in his ear. Not to mention the strong lights seemed to annoy him as well. He quitted going to school for that while and became a loner to avoid any kind of bullying from the other kids who would often call him ‘Tsunpo’.

But now, two years after that, Bansai had trained by himself, not only the art of the sword but also the art of details. Mostly, he would just walk close to people, listening to their way of talking, observing their facial and body expressions, seeing beyond their souls. Soon, he could easily tell when someone was lying and of course, at the same time, learned how to convince, how to enchant, how to use the words for his own benefit. Never imagining how much that ability would serve him of so much use in the future.

The day went smooth, as usual. The half deaf kid continued his way, evading the kids his age and walking straight to the vegetables market, silently giving the list and money to the woman that worked there who, knowing the kid was deaf didn’t waste a single word on him and placed all the items listed in a bag before handing it back to him with the change. He could hear random talking of some women that were also buying at the market, classical women gossip or so he thought not paying much attention to it. The tall boy gave a small bow at her and proceeded to walk back home, looking at the change in his hand and contemplating on buying at least a dango before going back when he felt a high-pitched shiver go through his body at once.

It was something he had never heard before, not even when his hearing was at his fullest. It sounded frustrated, like if every breath it took was about to be the last. The rhythm was messy and the pace was fast, almost uneven. He quickly turned his head at the place where the song came from, calling it song at the lack of a better word for the explanation of what he had just heard. On any other day, Bansai would just have ignored the situation and gone straight home but for some reason, what he had felt about that ‘song’ made him curious so he walked towards the sound he heard.

His eyes widened, unable to believe what he had just seen. Purple dark hair, with damping green eyes, a small boy was sitting in the floor, sobbing and rubbing his tears away with the back of his hand. All that desperation came from a little boy that seemed to be around his age and no one else seemed to have noticed. No, maybe they had, but no one really cared.

Bansai went closer to him and tapped his shoulder with his hand. “Are you alright?” he asked, ducking beside him, without taking his eyes off him. He heard some sort of mumbling as a response, tilting his head, he sighed. “I can’t hear you, I dare say…”

The sobbing boy looked up at the other, a bit surprised someone was actually paying attention to his little tantrum but frowned either way. “I said leave me alone, it’s not of your concern!” he pushed Bansai by the shoulder but Bansai’s body didn’t move an inch. The taller boy tilted his head to the other side instead and shook it. “I can’t hear you yet, I dare say…”

That only made the little one get even more upset. “Just leave!” he said getting up into his feet and wiping the last traces of tears he had on his face and started looking around, as if he was looking for someone.

Bansai was very good at observing and right away noticed what was going on with the little boy, he got up as well. “I think you are lost, I dare say.” He said quietly as he kept spotting the kid, who had now crossed his arms and was looking away. “You, get lost and leave me alone once and for all already…”

The voice of the boy was almost as a whisper and Bansai couldn’t hear a word he was saying so, without asking, he took the small boy’s hand and started to walk away. “What the hell are you doing!” the irritated kid tried to pull his hand away but the strength of the other boy was bigger than his and ended up being pulled to a dango store. “The hell is wrong with you…?” he complained as Bansai let go of his hand and as soon as he was going away, placed a dango stick in his hand.

The purple haired boy got slightly surprised by it but frowned either way, sighing in resignation, he sat down, followed by the other who was already eating his dango. They ate in silence for a while until Bansai broke the silence. “What’s your name?” he asked and looked into his eyes with his light brown ones. The little one pouted “Takasugi Shinsuke.”. Bansai smiled when he heard the other’s name.

“I know where your mother is, I dare say.” The statement made Shinsuke skip a beat. He had gone with his mother to visit some friends and it was the first time he had been in that town, decided to play around with some of the other family kids and had ended up lost. Missed track of the other kids, and of course, the adults had been long gone, trusting the kids would go back on their own, but they never thought the little Takasugi boy would go astray from the rest. But how come could that strange boy know where his mother was? Was he crazy, perhaps?

“Let me take you where she is, Shinsuke.” Bansai said his name softly in a way Shinsuke had never heard his name spoken out before. The little one sighed deeply in annoyance and got up. He didn’t have anything to lose, if anything, maybe the bizarre boy could help him out or perhaps, he would end even more lost. “Let’s go then…” Shinsuke said quietly and Bansai got up as well and taking the kid’s hand, started to walk out of town for a few minutes, reaching soon into what seemed to be a wealthy family residence.

When entering the domains, the other kids could be heard laughing out loud, still playing hide and seek. Of course, none of them had noticed Takasugi wasn’t around, as invisible the little one seemed to be. Maybe for all of them he was, but certainly not to the tall boy that was standing right beside him.

It was certainly luck he had heard about the Takasugi family visiting the Hiroshi family from the women gossip at the market. “I believe our ways separate here, I dare say.” Bansai said as soon as he could hear the boy’s song was calm again, soft as silk, his face looked more beautiful as the rays of light illuminated his now visible smile but somehow, there was a faint trace of sadness in it.

“Thanks…” he muttered and Bansai only bowed in return. He wanted to keep listening to the boy’s fascinating song but instead he turned around as he still had to take the vegetables back to his own mother. He started walking away. “Stop!” The little one commanded him with steady voice. “You still haven’t told me your name!”  
  
Without turning, the tall one smiled and kept walking after answering him. “Bansai, I dare say…”


	2. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Present time is in italics and there's a huge flashback in normal format.

_The sun was barely going through the closed windows. Silence was only broken by the birds and wind going through the tree leaves out of the house that seemed to be some rebel’s secret hideout._

_Old and forgotten, but not by time who seemed to have taken toll on the deep-rooted house, silence was broken again, but this time, inside the overlooked building. Cracking and splashing, indistinct music sound and the stench of sweat and blood was plugging up the room._

_The teal haired man pulled out his sword from another man’s chest and his dead body fell over the wooden floor and blood was now coloring it with a nice long lined pattern. The young man sighed and frowned as the song he was listening to had just ended and since he had his music player in ‘random’ settings, a song, too sweet for the mood he was currently in, had come next._

_He looked annoyed but his job was pretty much done so he stopped and took the music player out of his pocket to change the song when he suddenly heard a heavy metal song, or perhaps was it a black metal one…? He quickly turned back only to feel a cold pierce through his shoulder. Rapidly swinging his sword against the man that had got up from the floor, blood dripping from his wide-open chest. “I’ll kill you, bastard” the man muttered under his breath._

_Bansai couldn’t say he wasn’t shocked at what had just happened but a somewhat smirk had risen in his lips. “Kill me? What a presumptuous bastard, I daresay…”_

_The man jumped against Bansai but his body didn’t move an inch, just placing his sword in the front, letting the man go against him with all his might, barely moving his head aside with the same rhythm he moved his arm out carrying his sword along as he closed his eyes, only to hear the man’s two halves dropping against the wooden floor and feel blood running down his cheek. The music had stopped and a third sound could be heard, the sound of his headphones, or most likely the pieces of it, hitting the ground._

_He felt his stomach go cold, his heart skip a beat, and everything went blank. “Shinsuke…”_

 

* * *

 

Two years had passed since he had met the little boy with the interesting song and yet he couldn’t forget about him. Bansai would go to sleep every night and wonder about him, never forgetting him name, he would repeat it a few times before he closed his eyes and gave himself to Morpheus’ arms and that night wasn’t the exception. “Takasugi Shinsuke…” he said in almost a whisper.

Next morning, he woke up and went to train with his shinai before sunrise, then did his cleaning duties as usual, and once he was free, he went to take a bath. Feeling the cold water all over his sweaty and tired body was the most rewarding thing after all the hard training he did every day. However, he couldn’t stay there for too long and quickly went out of the river, grabbed a towel, and proceeded to dry himself up and dress again.

He had been hired to do a part-time job in another town and, since it was far away, he had to run to get there in time. It took him about an hour to get there and he was sweaty and tired again but somehow, he still arrived early as he had been doing all week. He smiled slightly and ducked down under the shadow the roof of the shop was casting on the ground.

The shop owner opened shortly after and he bowed, greeting her before going inside and starting his tasks. From cleaning, getting things from the warehouse, dealing with customers when the owner was busy, Bansai was willing to help in everything the old lady needed. At the end of the day, he would get twenty yen and after gratefully bowing at the woman, he would walk to the music shop and look at the music player on display and of course, some lovely silver headphones. One day, he would have enough money to buy them and he would be happy, at last.

Spitting aside, Shinsuke had just gotten up from the ground, glaring at the boys he had in front of him.  _What a bunch of assholes…_  he thought as he picked up the shinai from the floor.

The biggest of the boys went to him and hit him again with the shinai in his head, making him fall back to the ground once more. Shinsuke heard laughter and groaned in desperation. When he looked back up, they were gone.

Getting up again, he started walking home, knowing for sure his family was going to be mad at him again for engaging in fights but, there was nothing to do about it now. Suddenly, he saw him. A tall boy, teal haired, staring at some store’s display as if he was seeing the love of his life on the other side. Shinsuke wondered what the hell was he looking at and stepped closer. The golden eyes of the boy were fixated at some headphones with no particular design, they were just simple, plain, silver headphones. Rolling his eyes, he kept walking, ignoring him but still wondering what the hell he was doing in his town and… what was the boy’s name?

That night, he got grounded as usual but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stop thinking about the teal haired boy as he tried to remember what the hell his name was. He wondered if the boy even remembered him at all. Why would him? The boy was a creep indeed but at least he had helped him last time. Maybe he should return the favor but just, how? Finally, after all the fuzzing going on in his head, he fell asleep.

A few weeks after that day, Shinsuke went to stroll around the forest and he happened to see the boy again but this time, under different circumstances. His sight was lost, staring at nothing, sitting under a tree, his knee up close to his chest and his arm resting in his knee, he had traces of dirt and blood over his body. His hand and part of his face were swollen, Shinsuke could tell as he walked closer but he also remained at a considerable distance from him.

“Whoa, you okay?” the purple haired boy asked him as he saw him jump a little, apparently scared at the sudden intrusion.

Bansai was first startled when he heard the other come, but then he saw the familiar face and his heart skipped a beat. “Takasugi Shinsuke… what are you doing here?” he said between his wincing and shortness of breath.

Shinsuke blinked at the surprise. The other boy remembered his name and he had forgotten his. He frowned, it’s not like he knew if he would see him again, or so he thought so he wouldn’t feel too guilty about it. “I live close by. Huh, looks like someone kicked your ass.” He chuckled, but the other guy remained as serious and if anything, he looked even sadder now. “W-what happened?” he tried to correct what he said before.

Bansai sighed as he looked at him. “Nothing, I dare say…”

Shinsuke got closer to him and kneeled down poking his swollen cheek. “Doesn’t seem like nothing to me… come on, you can tell me…”

Bansai frowned and closed his eyes. “I’ve been coming to this town to work a little and save up money, I dare say. But some boys said I shouldn’t come here anymore. I don’t really care, except…”

The short boy tilted his head. “Except for what?” he questioned with a firm tone, without taking his eyes off him.

“Except they took all my money away…” the other boy said with a sad tone and Shinsuke knew exactly why he was feeling so sad. Getting up, the small boy smiled. “You truly are an idiot… fighting them when you had no chance. You should have just given them your money and leave.”

Bansai couldn’t help but frown a little. “No, I really wanted to buy something with that money, I dare say…”

Shinsuke laughed. “You never had a chance against them” he said and walked away, leaving him behind.

The teal haired boy didn’t care about the threats he got from the other guys and just went to work the next day as well. After a long day of work, that was more painful and exhausting due to the beating he received the day before, he got his payment of twenty yen and went to the music shop. He could feel the tears run down his cheeks while he looked at the display, noticing that the headphones and player he wanted so much were gone.

Disappointed and frustrated, Bansai went to sit down on some stairs leading to a shrine. The tears didn’t seem to stop, no matter how many times he rubbed them off. Suddenly, he heard a song coming his way, a song that was familiar to him now. He looked up, only to see a beaten-up version of Shinsuke, who despite the blood and scratches in his face and body, had a huge smile on his lips.  
  
“I thought you wouldn’t come back.” He smiled at the crying boy, breathing heavily. “Ah, I’m so exhausted… Why don’t you buy us something to drink? You have money, right?”

Bansai looked at the money on his hand and remembered he wouldn’t be able to buy what he wanted so badly anyway so he shrugged. “Why not?”

Both boys walked in silence until Shinsuke stopped at a vending machine. “I want a ramune soda.” He commanded, Bansai looked at him and then at the vending machine, that seemed to be out of use. “Shinsuke, I don’t think this works at all, I dare say” To which the smaller boy grabbed his hand to take the money out of it and inserted it into the machine and pressing a button to get a drink but nothing came down of it. “Give me the drink already, or am I supposed to do everything myself?”

Bansai raised an eyebrow and sighed, leaning down to open the lid and show him there was nothing there but… a small box. He took it out, it wasn’t heavy. He looked at the other who was still smiling and just started to open the box, something silver shining inside. “No… You didn’t…” he couldn’t keep going, his heart beating fast at the surprise and unable to believe it.

“Just open it already, dammit… it’s for you.” The little one pushed him softly and watched him taking the headphones out of the package along with the music player. “I can’t… I can’t accept this, I dare say...” Bansai shook his head, handing them to Shinsuke but Shinsuke just laughed. “They are yours, you worked hard for it, I bought them with your money after all and maybe with the money I took away from those assholes as well, but they deserved it.”

The taller boy couldn’t help but smile slightly as he looked down. “Thank you… I couldn’t be happier but I don’t know how I could ever repay you for this, I dare say.”

“What if you tell me your name again? I think I might not have heard you the last time…” Shinsuke lied, trying to hide the fact he had completely forgotten.

“Bansai, Kawakami Bansai” the other replied, still smiling.

“You still owe me a drink, should we go get them now?” Shinsuke chuckled.

“Of course” Bansai replied, walking behind his new friend.

 

* * *

 

_The only remaining precious gift he got from his old friend was now shattered into pieces and once he got his consciousness back he could feel his face was all wet. A mix of tears and blood. He rubbed his eyes, only to stare at a pile of dead bodies that weren’t there before, all erratically slashed with unclean cuts. “What have I…?” He then looked at the remains of his headphones and felt more tears falling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Shinsuke…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Back in the day, 20 Yen was a lot of money. Well, around $2.  
> -Lol thanks for reading, comments are appreciated. Thanks for not killing me orz


	3. "How many songs will it take...?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We can't control time. Sometimes we have to wait and sometimes... we die a little inside. Fortunately, some bonds are meant to prevail, specially when their songs have meaning and when you find them, it's worth waiting for them, even if it means waiting forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written in the middle of frustration.

And the days kept passing by, just as the rain fell and kept getting dried by the sun rays, Shinsuke and Bansai would go meet each other every while.

Seeing the other boy had become one of his favorite things to do. Every day after his duties, Bansai would wait for Shinsuke at their secret place. A place no one else but them knew about. He would look forward to meet his friend.

That day was no different. They had agreed to meet at the usual place and Bansai got there early as usual, sat under a tree and waited under the shadow casted by the branches and leaves. The wind that day was strong but surely it felt amazing since it was a hot afternoon after all. He closed his eyes, listening to music as his delayed friend got there.

He waited for an hour but Shinsuke didn’t get there, and that was a strange behavior of his friend since he would often get there late but never too late. _“Shinsuke, did you perhaps forget?”_ the taller boy wondered about his youngest friend, deciding to wait for him another 12 songs at least, because he often used to count the time with songs. He needed to talk to him about something important that had been bothering him for the last two days.

The first song went by very quickly, he didn’t even notice when it was already finished and the second was starting. He didn’t pay much attention to it at the moment, thinking deeper about Shinsuke rather than the song he was listening at. Why was he so late? Perhaps something happened to him, he thought and began to worry.

“Fine on the outside” That same song was playing years later in Bansai’s music player. He had boarded a flight towards another planet to negotiate with some Harusame leaders, about to talk them into a deal. They had something those guys were interested in and of course, the Kiheitai as well was also interested in something that had entered the hands of the Harusame.

However, this time, Bansai didn’t have luck to spot an empty ship but one that was filled with passengers. “What a bother, I daresay…” he said under his breath as he sat in the middle seat of a row right in the middle of the airplane. No, he wasn’t even able to book a seat in executive class coz the damn flight was completely full with the exception of a couple of seats in the economy class. Being that the only ship that was going to that planet that was available that week, he had no other choice but to accept.

He hated people so much, their uninteresting and mostly boring songs who inspired no one, not even themselves. " _Why is people so plain? No ambitions, it’s like their souls are death, I dare say."_ He thought and sighed. Being surrounded by them made him put the volume on his music player as high as possible and tried to ignore the rest of the crowd even if the people in the seats of front of him were annoying as hell. Calling the flight attendants every moment, asking for everything in the menu, then saying the attendants got the order wrong. In other words, being an ass.

Bansai felt like he wanted to pull his hidden katana out of his shamisen and just slash those annoying clients into pieces but refrained. He still had about five hours of flight and he didn’t want the mission ending with him restrained or with the whole ship full of dead bodies. He sighed and cursed under his breath, hoping eventually those assholes that wouldn’t shut up would go to sleep. And then, the song had ended.

“Remember me as a time of day” The third song had started already and Bansai was started to grow impatient as Shinsuke wasn’t anywhere to be seen. He was so compelled to get up and go look for him but he also wondered what would happen if Shinsuke eventually came to the place and didn’t find him.

And “Remember me as a time of day” started playing in his music player while on the plane. Bansai was trying to find that point of relaxation inside his mind. But as he used to say to himself, people never change. And if he couldn’t be more right, as if things couldn’t get worst, the assholes had moved their reclining seat back, making it more uncomfortable for him. Ah, he wanted to kill them so badly.

After the fourth song, “Fine again”, he got up, walking in circles. What happened to him? Is he even doing alright…? He wondered, a few of the already withering leaves were starting to fall, a few falling over his messy hair but still, not a single trace of Shinsuke.

Bansai thought the best he could do was ignore all that and just sleep because it was the best way to control his murdering instincts. He closed his eyes and tried to focus in the music that was coming from his headphones only, and not into the shallow music of the people around him. Sometimes his gift was annoying as hell, especially when the songs around him were this dull. That lovely song reminded him of something. Hell, perhaps?

A loud snore got him out of his thoughts quite easily. It was too loud not to ignore and Bansai clenched his fists. Maybe he should send the guy to sleep forever with a punch in the face at once. If only he could do that…

“How you remind me”. The fifth song arrived and he was getting even more impatient. “One more song…” he said to himself as he looked up at the sky, wondering for how much longer would the rays of light illuminate their place before the darkness took over. Sure, it wouldn’t last long, at least not for any of the two.

If only they would arrive any sooner. “Shinsuke…” he thought to himself. “If I make it out of this one alive without murdering anyone, I swear you’ll hear a ten hours rant about this…” he frowned, really upset there was a rush over the merchandise and he couldn’t wait until the other ship was ready.

And so came “The scientist” the sixth song and Bansai, unable to wait any longer, started walking away, maybe he could find Shinsuke in the way to their secret place. Or maybe he was sick or something. That could probably be, he nodded, convincing himself of such thing, he walked to Shinsuke’s house. He  _needed_ to talk to him.

He couldn’t believe it when he saw it himself…

Bansai looked down at his music player. It was running out of battery. _“Great”_ He said to himself with sarcasm. The people sitting at the row in front of him were calling the flight attendant again and the poor boy sitting beside him was trying to do his homework or something with a frustrated look on his face. At least he wasn’t alone in this but either way, his patience was starting to run out.  
  
If only he hadn’t sworn his life to him. If only he wasn’t carrying such a big responsibility, if only he wouldn’t compromise the Kiheitai’s wellbeing with what he really wanted to do. The teal haired man sighed and tried to remain as calm as his usual expression used to show even if he was a sea of anxiety inside. If only he wasn't doing this for  _Shinsuke._

“Asleep” the seventh song had just started and Bansai only hoped he was dreaming when he saw Shinsuke talking to another boy his age. The other boy had long black hair, tied into a high ponytail and both were sitting together, enjoying a bottle of poccari sweat while talking.

Had he... been replaced?

Or maybe he never was that important for Shinsuke to begin with. He smiled sadly, gripping the music player hard into his hand. So hard he turned it off but he didn’t care. Without bothering Shinsuke, he began walking home, trying not to think much of the pain he was feeling inside his chest, after all, he knew he didn’t have much time left. Maybe parting now was for the best. If only he could have said goodbye.

 And the song brought him back memories from years ago, of _Shinsuke_ , of how they met and of when they had to depart. " _Can you hear my song now, Shinsuke?_   _Thinking about you changed it, I dare say."_ He thought, as he was finally being able to detach from reality, his mind and body relaxing, forgetting the hell he was in. It was all thanks to _him_ but even if he was calm now, he could also feel a sharp pain in his chest, triggered by memories, slowly fading away. 

Luckily, before the battery died, he was deeply asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The respective songs. I know some are kinda old and some kinda new... and obviously they didn't exist in those times but it's fiction, right? ... here they are as a reference. 
> 
> “Fine on the Outside” – Priscilla Ahn  
> “Remember me as a time of day” – Explosions in the sky  
> “Fine again” – Seether  
> “How you remind me” - Nickelback  
> “The scientist” - Coldplay  
> “Asleep” - The Smiths
> 
> I apologize for taking too long to update but I've been really busy and my song has been kind of off lately. I'll try to update as soon as possible and any comments are appreciated. Thank you TwT


End file.
